Weighing in: Gains, and Gainz, Losses, and Getting Lost

This post is not about how great I’ve been doing or about how much weight I’ve lost this week. This post is about the honest, vulnerable reason why I started this blog in the first place. Accountability, as well as transparency. I want people to know, who see me reach my goals in the future, that this wasn’t without trials or setbacks. I had a great week last week, only to see my progress do a 180 in the following week. I will get back on track, but in the meantime, this is where I am.

This past week has been a bit trying as I have had lots of social situations come up in which I have been tempted and partaken in drinking lots of alcohol, eating lots of indulgent foods, and going to the gym less than I normally would.

As the end of Spring Break neared, I was feeling good about a total loss of 10 lbs in the month of March, as well as a 2.5lb gain in muscle. However, I think I took this information and ran with it a little too much as the weekend approached. I took a short road trip to visit some friends who live an hour and two hours away from me, respectively.

On the first night I visited a childhood friend and we enjoyed a light dinner, followed by drinks and Karaoke. On the second night I drove up to a bigger city to see a concert. Before the show I met with some friends at Buffalo Wild Wings to watch my college play in a March Madness game. Buffalo WW is very hard to eat healthy at, and I opted for a salad but it was definitely still a lot of points. I walked around the city and danced a lot at the concert. At the end of the day I totaled 20,000 steps, but I had also had well over my day’s worth of points in alcohol. Come Sunday morning I was feeling sore from moving around so much, happy that I had such a fun weekend, but also achy and physically exhausted.
I headed back home with a clear vision of health in mind for starting out my week. I did great on Sunday, with 28 out of 30 points. But then Monday was rough with 50 /30 points, Tuesday was decent with 35/30 points, but today I really crashed and burned- Finishing the day at 71/30 points. Much of the imbalance has been due to eating out with friends, being at work during dinner time, and also snacking when I’m not hungry. There have been treats offered and I’ve been bad about saying no. I also, for a moment, lost sight of the determination I had when I first began this journey in January– But I am now more determined than ever.

Truthfully, I think another part of my frivolity has been a subconscious effort to sabotage myself. I think that seeing my body and my mind change in this way is almost frightening because it is pulling me out of my comfort zone. It can be a scary feeling knowing that things are starting to look up if you don’t believe you deserve for them to– but that kind of thinking is what caused me to gain the weight in the first place. I am not going to fall victim to my self-sabotage anymore by ignoring my self-worth. Just like any other person in the world, I am deserving of love, happiness, confidence, and success.

While I am not happy about some of the food choices I’ve made in the last week, I appreciate that I was able to have some fun with friends, enjoy lots of delicious meals, and dance a ton. 

I am honestly surprised that I have made it this far in my journey without having many days that feel like setbacks so if anything this was a lesson learned that I need to reaffirm my goals and recenter my focus more often.

For this week, my goal will be to maintain, and next week I should be back on track to lose some weight. 

Even though I haven’t lost weight this week, and I am feeling down about my choices, I also know that a few months ago I would have been derailed by this and given up completely. I will not let that happen this time.  

So, starting tomorrow, I am going to make a change. I am going to make it a goal to hit my smart points each day and exercise a little extra. I don’t expect to have any loss this week, but maybe I can prevent a major gain by keeping-on. As a way to hold myself accountable even further, I am going to post a screenshot of my progress in the forthcoming week.

I will try to pack my lunches and keep protein shakes handy in case of hunger-emergencies, I will avoid alcohol as there is no room for it in my diet this week, and I will focus on eating fresh produce when I am hungry, supplementing with protein and minimal starchy-carbs. I will plan ahead for when I know I’ll be working, and I will leave my debit card at home so that I can’t make impulse purchases.

I will also focus more of my energy on exercising– I will attend my bootcamp/spin class tomorrow and I will make the gym a priority throughout the rest of the week.

Tomorrow I won’t begin anew because today did, in fact, happen. However, I will pick up the pieces and make the best out of where I left them. Tomorrow I look forward to seeing 30/30 on my total points for the day. The sun will rise again, and again, and eventually the scale will lower.

Bye Bye Muffin Top!

Kenzie

 

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